So much of my writing is about Genevieve and how we are processing her upcoming surgery. Tonight, my thoughts are focused on my son. My darling Harry, who is also being asked to handle something so big.
Harry is an incredibly strong child. He is a true gentleman allowing Genevieve to take out some of her frustration on him. There are moments when she is angry and we find her lashing out. She will back him into a corner with her hands curled into claws as she grabs at him, yelling at the top of her lungs. While all sorts of things set her off, I know that the real reason is that she is struggling with what is happening and Harry is an easy target. She has enough control to not lose it at school so she bottles it up and bursts when she is home. Harry lets her. He doesn’t fight back and even when I tell him that it is okay to push her away and remove himself from the situation – he doesn’t. Frequently, he allows her to get her anger out and it is usually Al or I that break it up. Sending Genevieve off for a time out to breathe, self-talk as she is working on at school and to think about appropriate behavior.
I worry about Harry. He is my sensitive child that feels things so deeply. Sad scenes on TV and in movies will bring tears to his eyes. There are moments when he will become quiet and you can see that he is also hurting. Unlike Genevieve, he doesn’t come to us quite as often to talk and share what he is feeling. Sometimes we need to drag it out of him and even then, he will deny it when I can see the truth in his brown eyes. At 7, he has the strong silent type attitude down.
We are doing all that we can to see that he is supported during this time. We remind him that we are here to talk. We make sure that he has things that are special for him – a baseball clinic, his own time with us and the occasional small toy or other treat. My parents will be here to fill in the gaps when Genevieve is in the hospital and even then – outside of the day of her actual surgery – my goal is that either Al or I will be home to have dinner, put him to bed, get him up in the morning and have breakfast. Being away from his twin is hard enough and I do not want him to feel that he is losing his parents, too.
I will not allow my quiet boy to become lost.