So much of this is about how I have been feeling and coping . . . today is about Genevieve. She is traveling on that same rollercoaster of emotion.
We had an amazing day. Al and I visited the school to read a book called ZipLine (Find it on Amazon) to Genevieve’s class. It is about a little girl that has open heart surgery just like our baby. We also shared the Team Genevieve (slide show) video with her class. Her teacher and the school psychologist helped us to have the conversation about why she would not be in school for the next month and how they could support both her and her twin brother Harry. At the end, everyone was on Team Genevieve. As we left the school, her kindergarten teacher stopped us to give her a card and stickers that she rushed out to pick up on lunch, her first grade teacher told us that she was planning a visit and the amazing women who run the before and after school program are planning a trip to the bowling alley for both Genevieve and Harry after her recovery. After so many hugs, she skipped out of school surrounded by love. The Philbrick Elementary School is the best choice for our family – the small community feel and support is just what our family needs.
My parents arrived at the blue house to help us get through this week. Harry and Genevieve were overjoyed to see their grandparents and to have dinner out on a school night. She shared her video and Team Genevieve poster with them and Harry had the security of knowing that he would be well cared for while we focused on getting her through pre-op and her surgery.
We packed her backpack for tomorrow – Emma, her American Girl doll, a magazine, a book, a coloring book and crayons, her journal with questions for the doctor and her iPad and headphones because there are some things that little ears just do not need to hear during consent.
It was a good night. Then like her mother, the quiet got to Genevieve. She doesn’t want to go to sleep because time goes by too fast when she is sleeping, she doesn’t want to go to the hospital tomorrow . . . she doesn’t want to have surgery.
DO I HAVE TO?!?!?!?
So, we curled up on the couch and watched a little more television. Leaning against me, my hand on her chest . . . I can feel her heart murmur through her pajamas. The tears are rolling down my cheeks. Oh, Genevieve . . . yes, you have to. I need you to do this. You are strong and I know that you can do this. Princess G, I hope you sleep tonight and if you can’t . . . come see mommy. I am sure I will be awake.